


Ribs

by miltonicsimile



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Growing Up Together, M/M, New Year's Eve, Nostalgia, Partying, Pining, This was directly inspired by the song by lorde lol, but like dont let it scare u if u like what i write pls give it a try i tried rly hard lol, verkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 23:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13200852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miltonicsimile/pseuds/miltonicsimile
Summary: You're the only friend I need, sharing beds like little kids. Seungkwan doesn't think he wants to grow up anymore.





	Ribs

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so i was listening ribs again its a whole ass mood and was like....verkwan

The room is too warm, Seungkwan thinks absently. His sweater is sticking to him, still damp from Hansol laughing too hard, tipping his drink forward onto Seungkwan earlier in the night. He didn’t mind, it wasn’t the first time in all their years as friends.

His body hums with the alcohol in his veins, and impending exhaustion looms over him as he looks at the mess around him. The coloured lights, left over from Christmas, that Mingyu and Wonwoo strung across the room are painting everything in fuzzy blurs of red, green, yellow, and blue. The glass of the empty bottles, and forgotten, half-finished drinks reflect the light, leaving it scattered and lost.

Seungkwan feels a bit like that too.

One of the Canadian-rock songs that Jihoon likes is still playing, left on repeat, a rough voice singing something about lovers and growing old. Hansol would know, would explain the lyrics to him as best as he could, stumbling over trying to find the words to properly convey the original’s message. Seungkwan’s too gone right now to ask.

“Let’s go to bed,” Hansol says, from above on the couch, his voice thick and worn. “It’s past four.”

Seungkwan doesn’t have to ask to know what he means. They’re best friends, they’ve grown up together. Not much has changed, but everything has too. They’ll both be twenty soon.

He nods, taking Hansol’s outstretched hand, lifting his heavy limbs from the floor. His hand is warm and familiar, and Seungkwan lets himself be led down the hall to his bedroom.

Joshua and Seokmin are in their beds, already asleep. The only sounds are their soft breathing and Hansol’s and Seungkwan’s feet against the wooden floor.

He crawls into his bed after Hansol, throwing his dirtied sweater on the floor. He pulls the blankets around them, Hansol’s warm breath on his face. It’s the same thing they’ve been doing since they were little kids with bright innocent eyes and carefree smiles.

“Tonight was fun,” Seungkwan says softly because he knows it’s what he should say. But everything feels a bit hallow he realizes, looking at the dark lashes fluttering on the cheek on the pillow next to him. “Another year gone.”

Hansol reaches out and pushes the hair out of Seungkwan’s eyes, and gives him a tired smile. “Never thought you’d make it here, did you?”

Seungkwan knows he means to make it as a singer, make it as a group, make it as an adult. It’s something Hansol likes to talk about before bed sometimes, lying next to each other. They always manage to make seem so impossibly good, painting it all in gold. When they do, it makes Seungkwan wish that’s the way it could be all the time.

But Seungkwan can’t believe he’s made it here either, in love with his best friend. They’ve grown up together, watched each other fail and grow. They’ve fought together for it all, always talked about what it’d be like when they were older.

He almost wishes he could go back. Everything was so much simpler when they were kids. His childhood dream doesn’t taste so sweet now. Next to Hansol in bed, unable to be honest with even his best friend, he realizes he’s never felt more alone.

“No,” Seungkwan says eventually, “but here I am.”

He wants to be happy like this like he used to be. He wants to be able to laugh until their ribs hurt, hidden with beneath the blankets with a flashlight, like they used to. He wants to go back. Back to being a kid, back to loving Hansol as just his best friend. Back to being able to walk on the street without worrying about a camera flashing. He wants to go back, Seungkwan doesn’t want to grow up anymore.

Before Hansol’s breathing can fall even, Seungkwan confesses the closest thing to the truth that he can.

“It’s scary how we’re getting old.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> lol rip  
> yell at me in the comments
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/checkinsbitch/)


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